Monday, September 13, 2010

Cruel to be Kind


Bless her heart, but….
If you ever hear those words out of someone’s mouth- Run! Don’t walk, don’t jog, don’t gallop-hit the concrete like you’re fleeing from prison. Not only are you about to hear a nasty bit of gossip, that you could most likely do without, but it is being severed up to you by the worst kind of gossiper. The kind that thinks she can erase whatever poisonous thing she is about to say by uttering those magic words before she slays someone with her lethal tongue.

You’ll notice I’m always addressing the offending gossiper as a she and that’s because, face it, it's always a woman doing that kind of sly, underhanded, mean-spirited BS. For whatever reason if you come out of the womb with a pair of balls its like you get to live your life with 50% less bullshit. Men either keep it to themselves, say whatever they are thinking to the offender's face, or at the very least are direct about it. Women on the other hand are some of the most conniving backward people I know.  I should know- I am one!

The worst part is I have no beef with gossip. It does, in many ways, make the world go round. Females are often inherently communicative people and talking about your bff’s hideous hair cut only seems natural. What Kills me with a capital K is when people try to mask their repugnant judgey-ness with phrases like the one above. If you’re going to be an ass, be an ass! Own it. We weren’t born yesterday fellow females. Every girl knows every other girl on the planet is prone to gossip. So climb on down from your pedestal and say your mean comment with a little conviction. Have some pride. If you can’t at the very least do that, then zip it. Quit trying to play the angel while you say devilish things. Don your horns and speak your truth or shut up!

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